1. Women treat men like children.
Do men sometimes act like children? Totally. But that doesn’t mean that women should reinforce that behavior by pandering to it. When a woman reacts to a grown man like he’s a seven year old, she might feel frustrated, but, in reality, she’s trying to force his hand or force the outcome that she wants.
If a woman can’t trust her man enough to let him do the grocery shopping or fold the laundry, it’s not that he CAN’T do it. (He’s a grown-up. He can.) She just wants those tasks done EXACTLY how she wants.
So rather than just leaving him to his own devices, she steps in, which, ultimately, makes more work for her and reinforces the guy’s suspicions that he can’t even accomplish basic tasks on his own.
The woman controls the situation, but prevents it from ever improving. It’s a vicious circle. Women need to realize that four of the most controlling words we can say are “I’ll just do it.”
2. Women get QUIET.
Women are ninja masters at this. If a man is frustrated and wants you to do something, normally, he’s going to just come out and say it. He might yell, he might whine, but, however he does it, men often have a hard time keeping their inner desires INSIDE. They want them to be expressed so they express them in the bluntest way possible.
Women, on the other hand, take a different — and probably WAY more effective — approach. We go silent. We stop talking. We get distant.
Women will often justify those cold silences by saying “I needed some time” or “I was processing things,” but, by refusing to engage, it leaves our men thinking “WHAT? What did I do?”
Those silences can get so uncomfortable that men quickly will do almost anything to end them. “Do you want me to admit I’m wrong? Change my shirt? Start going to the gym more? SAY SOMETHING!”
By refusing to express what we want, women make men almost desperate to comply with our wishes, if it will only mean that the silent treatment will end. It involves next to no talking and it’s staggeringly effective.
3. Women flatter men.
Flattery is a useful tool to control most people, but it works particularly well on men. It appeals to two separate but powerful aspects of being a man — that men are raised with the (unrealistic) expectation that they can do anything AND that men are rarely complimented (beyond a stoic “Good job”).
But a woman’s flattery overwhelms both of those conditions with pandering and praise. “Honey, I’m not good with technology, can you figure out this remote for me?” “Babe, can you load up the car for me? The suitcases are so heavy and you’re so good at getting everything in there!”
Granted, some of those compliments might be genuine, but it is still a form of control. The woman wants something accomplished, so she lavishes her man with praise, letting him know that he’s the BEST at doing whatever she wants done.
It’s probably not true. (She’s a grown woman. She can figure out a remote.) But the flattery is a proven way to get the man to do what she wants, so why not use it?
4. Women compare men to other men
This kind of control technique is frequently used in parenting, but it’s actually much more effective when the involved parties are older. It’s the classic “look at that nice boy” strategy. A parent might use it to shame their teenager into working harder at home or academically.
“Look at Linda’s son, he has a 4.0 grade point average and works at the nursing home after-school every day!”
The grown-up version of this occurs when a woman is unsatisfied with some aspect of the man in her life, so she openly starts making unflattering comparisons between her guy and other men in their lives.
“Bill just got a promotion… Roger is building that whole addition by himself… Rick goes to the gym 5 times a week and he loves it, never complains…”
Statements like that not only shame her man into action, but they also prey on the man’s ego. Because it’s not just simple nagging. It’s saying “this other man is CLEARLY superior to you.” That can kill a man’s